Jokes

School appropriate and respectful please!

"A Chemist, Engineer and a mathematician are stuck on a island with no food besides a tin can with peaches inside of it. The Engineer says we can drop it from a high hight and we then have peaches. The Chemist says no they will all go everywhere, he then says, we can put it in the sea, salt water corrodes metal and then we can break it open easy. The Mathematician says no that will take to long, I have an idea, Say we have a can opener." Joke told by Kjar

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.

He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing.

"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.

"That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address: A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My loving wife Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

Sun picture.

New sun! Those edges are ugly. I will try to fix them sometime.

Okay.....so this said it was a picture page....so here is a picture from last year!



STUNNA SHADES

She's Gorgeous http://www.denison.edu/student-orgs/waterpolo/

media type="youtube" key="LxoE2az9mJM"The Labyrinth is a darn good movie with David Bowie, can't go wrong

Dope: